The telephone rang. I answered. It was Carl once more. Carl calls me throughout the week, every week. I hope someone takes Carl's telephone away. He says "Aloha." He says that then he says nothing else. With Carl a pattern has developed.
I bought a house in Carl's neighborhood a couple years ago. Everyone knows each other and Carl thinks this intimacy, this fate proximity gives him permission to take control of communication like Carl is the most diminutive Napoleon ever.
Quickly I inquire the reason for the call. He tells me to come over to his house so I could see it for myself. Ok, Carl, after I'd recounted a bunch of reasons not to. He expertly showed them to be only covers. He is great at doing that. If he is great at one thing, that thing is unfurling
His home is as noisy as the man himself. Example: his yard usually features season-appropriate decorations. Winter is just coming to an end and so what does he have in his yard? A large, inflatable groundhog. Swaying, it welcomes me. The best neighbor ever pops out the front door before I am able to knock. Grasping my shoulder he takes me past his porch awning. He stares upward. I look up. I wonder why. This should be interesting.
"Do you see that?" Nope. "It's a new gutter cover." Wonderful. I respond, barely hiding my sarcasm. "No, it's more than fantastic. It's changed my life". That cover prevents leaves and stuff from building up, which limits how often I have to clear it." And he, finally, was actually onto something.
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